this is a blocking technique called distraction, the only way it can work is for you to follow a cycle of conversation that is predictable.
try this: start your communication with a solution or goal. for example, "I would really like to feel closer to you and i know you would agree we could have a great relationship.
as a conversation starter it is disarming and shows you are not just trying to pick a fight or criticize( by the way, ensure that you are not), it proves an interest in improving your relationship.
then think about the problem, now think about how you contribute to that problem. so next you would say, " I know that when ........ happens i do not respond very well,(or what ever is appropriate as your behavioural contribution), I will try hard not to do that anymore and would like us to.......
In this you are aknowledging that no one person is responsible for a problem in a relationship and it takes two to fix it.
then you try: "is there a way we can manage this differently that will make us both happier?
here you are not telling your partner what to do but are in effect building a team mentality that you are both working toward something.
communication breaks down when we feel we have a right to criticize someone for not doing what we want or not doing something the way we want it done. the aim here is to have a non combative conversation to learn how to discuss a problem without the need to put your partner down in any way.
think about how you initiate conversations and what you employ to get your way. think about whether you are looking for a solution or just venting. think about how much you love that person before you start, why would you want to hurt or make someone you love defensive? think about how you can be loving and still get results.
read out loud!!!!
that helps you be more fluent and increase not only your vocabulary, but phrases you can use once in a while. and if you don't know the word yet, look at the meaning and figure out a way of how to use it in a sentence, and why not, in a friendly conversation. (do it with someone else if possible)
and about repeated words...
look at the thesaurus, it will help you to use alternative words instead of those that you constantly use.How can I improve my communication skills?
If they try to interupt you like that just ignore it or say "let me finish my point" Don't get distracted by obstacles because they're probably trying to make you forget so you aren't mad at them anymore.
Have you told to the other person this observation you are describing here?. May be he/she doesn't realize about what is doing, because it is likely unconscious mechanism of her/his mind.How can I improve my communication skills?
Ialso have the same problem.
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